Okay, call me stupid, naive, or blind. Any of it, either way, when something as simple as the most revolting William Fulton telling me to impress his trolls on Twitter I’d be excited to see his ass in jeans made me want to puke. Certainly he knows he’s revolting, which is why he says such disgusting things. And, that Joe got next to Fulton as circle jerk buddies makes Joe to me as equally disgusting.
Something I was able to affirm this weekend which I’ve not been able to affirm in quite a while, especially because my parents are both passed away, is that my family didn’t talk dirty. I didn’t hang out with people who do, and that I don’t is a reason my little sister facetiously calls me St. Judy. Joe knows how to talk dirty. I’d suppose so does Dishrag know how to talk dirty. Probably a lot of people do, and even today on the radio some guys talking about the death of one of them spoke about the time they went to a porn convention in Las Vegas. I had no idea there was such a thing as a porn convention. My guess is Joe, Fulton and my little sister might be comfortable at one. Just sayin’ I think early in his life Joe made his was in porn, which is one of many reasons he said I would never respect him.
As the mind fucking he did to me flowed through and is on its way out the door, the things he told me during the process that came out of his seemingly exceptional education and filthy mind has left me susceptible to learning shit I’d otherwise never have known. In fact, my ex husband knew many things but, like my parents, we were not part of that knowledge. The things that were done to me in high school neither I nor my parents would have had the vocabulary to describe. And, neither would I have been interested in being taught early on in the event I needed to describe. Between the shock and awe and having understood in advance just how evil men are and what they can and will do, I’d still choose the shock and awe. The only thing I wish about the things that were done to me would be wishing my parents defied “authority” and would have told the schools I, my sister, Don and Pam WILL be going to the same high school. Versus splitting us up the way the schools did. I believe had we 4 been in the same school things would have gone better for me. My older sister would have been present, as well as so would Pam’s older brother have been present, too. What was done to the 4 kids who lived next door to each other is the same thing that has been done to the family. The system has purposefully destroyed the family and also broken up good neighborhoods in order to take control of everyone through inserting insecurities for exploitation. Yes, my mom spoke to the schools but they said no, and my mom accepted the school’s “authority.”
Would my life have been changed? Surely to a certain degree, yes. Would that have kept me safe from Dr. Sargent and his family preying on me? I doubt it. And from that Joe was able to do the same thing. Then he writes about what he does, and he calls it psycho analytical research. Oh, except, I did not consent. Oops. Cynthia Sobie, during her investigation of him, should have caught that. But, alas, she was offering him professional courtesies. That’s what they do.
So, today, while my team and I were talking about Mr. Anti Social Bi Polar BPD Psycho analytical Ethicist JD Asshole Rapist my team reminded me he’s got a huge support system just because of who he is. They reminded me he’s got a lot of money, and that he is being protected by people who have given him free reign to do whatever he wants to without consequences. While we talked about that, and about how corrupted the system is, and about how many women Ted Bundy killed before they finally took him in, and how easily OJ Simpson got off the hook for the brutal murder of Nicole & Ron, it stands to reason the system would and has protected Joe and the Dishrag who committed perjury for him. Then the topic of baby James came up. And, as if thinking about Joe’s not being in prison wasn’t bothering me enough (yes, I’ve realized prison are made exactly for men and women like Joe, Dishrag, Dr. Sargent, his wife, his father and CEO Cecchittini) the reality about the death of Baby James put me over the edge. I am sickened and will remain sickened until I can shake it off.
In the recent past I described Baby James’ condition to my team, not really understanding what I was describing. Today my team explained. My team explained babies natural instincts and the scene of the crime and my team made it quite clear what Baby James’ father had done to him that killed the baby while the baby was trying to survive, as babies do. Now understanding that, I pray Baby James’ mother has figured it out. She’s young, so maybe she hasn’t. Maybe she’s still too traumatized and confused about her baby’s murder to figure it out. Maybe its just too much for her to know. Its too much for me to know. And now knowing I can only wonder why the father/murderer/sociopathic psycho has not been put to death. Now knowing its even more understandable why that judge who put Baby James in the custody of his lying father who then murdered him, gave him custody without factual evidence to support his allegations against the babies mother, the baby’s mother who he had raped and gotten pregnant with Baby James, the raped woman who when she found out she was made pregnant chose to have him instead of eliminating him from her life, and then found she brought the baby into the world to die in horrible death at the hands of the demon who had raped her….yah that judge….he resigned.
So why do the courts make decisions, as they do, based only upon allegations? That’s what they did to me in Multicare vs Judy. And, in fact I’d proven and the doctor testified to that I could not have done what he was accusing me of doing. No, what’s happened to me is not nearly as serious as what was done to Baby James. But, what was done to me exposed me to being set up for being sodomy raped by Joe. Yes, I’ve decided, Joe would too do well in prison. Prisons are made for rapists. And, the truth of what Multicare did to me and of what Joe did to me is clear. And, as Mr. Bi polar the Rapist moves forward with his overly happy life then crashes into reality, chances are he will do again to someone else what he’s done to me. Chances are he already has. Yet, as a predator he’s protected. Just like Baby James’s father was given more regard, without his even providing facts to support his allegations against the baby’s mother, the predator rapist got his way.
As I detach more and more from the trauma I still think of the things that Joe said. Today my team mentioned the same thing, and its that I’ve been broken down to my core. I said to my team, “Oh no, that’s a trigger for me.” I was asked, “Have you never heard of the Malan Triangle (of Conflict?)”
If you haven’t, here is a link to an article published that will tell you. https://openi.nlm.nih.gov/detailedresult?img=PMC3709106_peerj-01-102-g002&req=4
And here is an article from Psychology Today expanding on that: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotion-information/201907/what-is-the-change-triangle
I said, “Let me tell you, Joe told me he was needing to get to my “core.” So that reference isn’t going to endear me, okay?” “That’s because what Joe (which we all know isn’t his real name because having his real name here would require him to confront this like a man, and he’s not a man. He’s a pussy with a penis, who hides behind skirts to save him from the reality of who he is) did has been negative,” was the reply. “But, here we are down to the core, and we can build up from there. Its a refinement process.”
To myself, “I’m still breathing, right? Check. Check. Yes. keep breathing. You can do this. Breathe.” Oh no oh no.
Listen. NOTHING that has been done to me by those assholes has been good, or refining. The idea that any of those men thing they have helped me up my game by blessing me with their presence is more than sickening. I’m resisting. I feel myself resisting. I’m not sure what to do. Am I at the end of the trail in therapy? I’ve wondered that before but maybe this is it.
The reality being found out about what was done to Baby James was too much for me. Maybe it was too much for my team, too. I do know my team has access to health care for themselves. I’ll talk with my team about that later this week. For now I feel like I’ve hit some rocky road. In fact, I’m feeling I could be done with it.
You see, there has been NOTHING good that’s come out of this for me. Joe’s stripping me down to the bare bones while he trounced off making sure his money flow didn’t get interrupted, the crooked little bastard, has not been good. Nor has it been good what that asshole doctor and his family and practice did either. No, I don’t want to talk about my core. In fact, over the weekend my little family and I talked about our amazing past lives together, and how we had a very happy time of it. No, I did not have the debilitating issues that medical doctor and Joe the asshole were projecting onto me. No, it was not endearing that as Joe was raping me he was telling me finding myself single after 28 years of marriage ought to have me out every night being found dined and dancing with a number of beaus. The dude was acting like I was Cinderella just stepping out for the first time in my life from a repressive life. No, I wasn’t. My life had not been repressive except for by assholes like them. Why would I want an entire array of assholes just like them dancing me around some ballroom floor? I wouldn’t. I’ve had a nice life, despite the assholes. So, yes, this weekend we spent a good amount of time in heartfelt reminiscing. Let me be clear. I would take back my ex husband in a minute over Joe or that asshole Dr. Sargent. I liked the faux Joe, but not the real Joe. I didn’t like either the faux or the real Dr. Sargent. I was begging for my life from them, and they were getting off on it, and that has become more than obvious. No, I was not unstable. They made me unstable. There’s a difference.
So, yah, now that we’re down to my core, with all that negative emotion set aside, we’re ready to rebuilt a refined me. Uh, no, I don’t think so. I think what needs to happen is Joe, Dishrag and the whole Multicare lot, including Dr. Minehan who fraudulently removed my female parts, should all go to prison. That’s what I think. You see, I’d already been broken down to my core when Robbie raped me while I was homeless and pregnant with my son. I’d already evaluated my deep feelings, and from there I built my life. Don and I had a good life and it was destroyed by a bunch of sick, bitter, assholes who worship their own phalluses and believe should all women fall before that alter. And women like Dishrag do. That bitch is beyond stupid.
How he’s tried to knit a silk purse out of that sow’s ear boggles the mind. Same with Sargent and that nasty thing that showed up in Katherine Moschel’s church parking lot to check me out. That was a sow’s ear, too. Not that I’d care, except that they all gathered around to destroy my life with the big pharma/insurance/banking cabals. And we pay the government and the courts for what? Certainly they’re not there for us. That’s been made clear.
You see, I’m not building from the broken down to baseline core. I’m returning to it. Its not a new place. In fact that baseline is where I lived all of my life until that doctor fucked me up on his drugs and started stringing me along in a weird way to cover up his own mental illness, ignorance, self centeredness, arrogance, and malpractice.
With Don right there in the courtroom, on the witness stand the asshole said he liked Mr. Carswell. What he was saying between the lines was that he was rejecting my advances (that he was fantasizing) because my husband was his buddy. That was a flat out lie. He had called Don into his office months before while he was having me surrounded by security and the administration during my OB GYN appointment. Calling Don into his office was unnecessary. He never told Don I was in the clinic too. He was interrogating Don about me, making Don uncomfortable. No, Dr. Sargent didn’t like Don. Dr. Sargent was a sick, sick bastard. No, Don didn’t believe Dr. Sargent’s act on the witness stand, and neither did Don believe I’d been coming on to that doctor. The doctor wasn’t my type. Now that I know what I do about Joe, I am sure he’s not my type either. Joe was right. I could never respect him. He needs idiots to stroke him. I’m not.
Yes, 1 Don was worth more than 100 of them. I knew that then, and now that those guys have been gotten off my back, I’ve received genuine care and the hurt is gone, I recognize it again, without a doubt. Also, what I know is that what happened drove Don crazy. Yes, it did. That makes me sad. I saw him “going down.” We were working towards getting back together, too. Then Joe raped me, spun me, started mind fucking me, and I told Don. Don told me clearly Joe’s a fraud, too, like Sargent. But, we didn’t know how to deal with what Joe had done. Humpty Dumpty couldn’t be put back together again. Don didn’t deserve that, and neither did I. Do you think those men aren’t going to be made to suffer for this? Yes, they will be. And, for all that I’ve learned about operating in the Holy Spirit, no I’m not one with Sargent nor Joe. They and theirs are on their own. No, I will no longer pray for them. I will pray for my ex, Don who deserves my prayers.
My team told me they understand my greatest fear is Joe will be able to get to me. Really, anymore, that concern is minimal. My trust is in God, and I know that what I’m making of the rest of my time alive will be for tying up loose ends that could have and would have been tied up years ago if not for this enormous distraction. You see, what has been done to me….its been nothing more than a huge waste of time, life and assets while the ones who have done it have been making out like bandits. Funny how that goes, isn’t it?
Years ago Chris McNeil MHS, told me the problem with the assholes was that they broke me down but weren’t qualified to help put me back together. That alone that Chris said was testimony Joe was practicing on me without consent. I still don’t know why Sobie didn’t charge him with that. Oh wait. Yes, I do. I keep saying it. Professional courtesy. Psychos get off the hook if they’re licensed to practice. So, yah, he broke me down, and yes he was paid to do it. Then he made a big joke of it, just like so did the Sargent group, until they realized I was raped. How many times do I have to say it? I was supposed to go down easy. I was supposed to say yes. Joe would record it, they’d all get a good laugh, and that would be that. The dicks would have shown me. But, it didn’t work out that way. I whipped their asses. Yes, I did. But, I’ve paid the price and they have not. I’d have paid the price, regardless, because they’ve got things set up that way.
Now my team is going to help me to build a refined happy place. To be honest, I know my happy place. I had it before the psych drugs started getting dumped into me. Just because Dr. Sargent and Joe sold to anyone who’d listen that I thought they were my happy place and that I was stalking them because I could not live without them, that isn’t and wasn’t true. They were destroying my life, and leaving themselves the only ones who could help me put it back together. But, they wouldn’t because there was no money in that for them. They get paid to ruin us, not to build us up. I couldn’t understand why that was. And to understand that is why I have kept at it. Sadly, the truth is they’re no better (especially Joe) than the man who murdered Baby James. The only difference is Baby James couldn’t say no while he was holding on for his life. God damn. Seriously. God damn them. That father should be murdered.
My team asked, when you had sex with your (ex) husband, did he ever call our Lucifer loves him? I said, “NO!” Today, for the very first time, I’ve gotten my head fully around evil. It is covert and it is overt, but its all the same. The drugs open the portals, and we are stuck trying to close those portals. No, my (ex) husband never called out that Lucifer loves him. Today, very seriously, I want to puke.
I wish I could come up with a better way today to say it all. But today this is as good as I can do. Too many men (and women) should be in prison getting porked, and they’re never going to because of professional courtesy and their being better connected…..to Lucifer.
To be honest, the medical/ psychiatric system has made me sick, and I really don’t want to learn anymore about what or how they think. I don’t want to know anymore about any of it. I really do think I’m done. I want to remain in my own life, “refining” it on my own, as we were before the two guys who seem to think they’re these great “catches” slithered into my life. Sargent and Joe, to me, are the scum of the Earth. I would have thought that of them before, and thinking it now tells me I’m recovered. The rest of the way I’ll go on my own, without being subjected to scrutiny by people who only know me through “educated” guesses that kind of make me sick. I really didn’t want to know what I learned today about Baby James. I learned more than enough about sick mother fuckers from Joe and Multicare.